Procrastination is Poisoning my growth and Success

 Identifying my weakness and what has stopped me from success in all aspects of my life has been eye opening. Procrastination has came into view and admitting that I have a problem with taking action was the first step. I heard these words that hit me hard..."Procrastination and indecision is the biggest form of self-abuse there is. 

Throughout my life, procrastination has shown itself when it comes to making decisions I know will help me. As a teenager, I would start something, then an excuse would come into play to escape the responsibility. Excuses such as "Im too tired. I need help. I can't do it. Why do they make us work so hard?" These were the stories I told myself, and eventually miss out on the reward.

I would even do things that needed to be done, but were not a priority. Raising kids, I knew I needed to teach my children simple things such as potty training, but "maybe tomorrow I will start" came into play. I needed to loose weight, and I would put sleep infront of the overall goal of getting healthy. In school, I knew I needed to attend class as a high schooler, but going to class seamed pointless...until I didn't graduate high school.

Then, I decided I was going to do what was right, and work to earn. I enrolled in BYU-Idaho to get a degree. Start, stop. Start. Stop. Start.

I knew what I wanted, but it was an internal battle. This week, I signed up for a 3 day training with Sarah Petty. A national acclaimed business coach, photographer, and marketing leader. During this course, I had eye opening moments. I wasn't succeeding at my goals because of inaction. Me, being accountable for my own life, and I saw I had not taken action on what was important to me.

I DESERVE SUCCESS. I WILL PARTICIPATE IN MY OWN RESCUE

One thing that stood out to me was the question, "What is your relationship with money? What's the threshold?" I was told I needed to heal my relationship with money before I could really succeed. As I was doing this, I realized as a child, I was given everything I needed. I wanted more, however I was given everything. Then, I got married and my husband provided financially for the family. I was in charge of the finances, buying what we needed, what the kids wanted, and financially started up a photography business. During this time, I had the mindset that I could have whatever I wanted. If I got myself in a bind, someone would rescue me. And they did! Then, I went through a divorce and lost everything. My parents will still rescue me, however I don't need them to. I can do the work and provide a life for myself and my children. I can do this on my own, and I don't need someone to rescue me...matter of fact, I have to have the mindset that NO ONE is going to rescue me.

I've procrastinated putting myself out there and doing the work, in fear of rejection. In fear of the unknown. In fear of not being good enough. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR! The only way I am going to grow up is to do the work, and be consistent....even when the going gets tough. Just like mastery, get comfortable in the uncomfortable and enjoy the plateau. Take action, even when I am scared.

I can not continue to live this way. God wants me to succeed and has given me so many tools and opportunities to be the light he created me to be. I must pray for strength daily to overcome procrastination, and follow a daily schedule to reach my goals. It's for myself, my family, and community. I can serve.