Practice

A week and a half ago, I went through with a "big move". Let me explain. 

Between 2011-2020, I lived in Michigan and was married with 3 kids still at home. In 2020, I went through a divorce that was not pretty. I decided I was going to go back to school, and put all my focus on that. Well, not having a job didn't help pay the bills and I was running out of money. In 2021, my landlord came to me and said they needed their house back because they had family moving back to the area. At this time, the housing market was double and I didn't see a way I could survive, and continue going to school. I made the decision to continue my education path, sell all my belongings, and move in with my parents in Colorado. 

 Fall 2021 Colorado was a breath of fresh air. I missed my children, but I was focused on my education and saving money. I was trying to accept the fact that I wouldn't see my children, but continue to stay in contact with them the best I could. In January 2022, I got a good job offer at a furniture store and took it. During this time, I focused on my job and excelled. I did end up taking a semester off and worked. I gained experience working in the home furnishing business, working with people in sales, and building healthy relationships. However, my parents put their house on the market, and I was forced to make a decision on where I would go. 

 Fall 2022 I decided moving to Washington State was where I was going to. All of my extended family was there, and I felt I should follow along and be there. When I arrived, I had a nice savings setup to get me started. However, rent was high and I was starting over. An obsessive thought went through my mind daily, "what are you doing here? You left Michigan because you couldn't afford rent, and now your away from your children, paying the same amount...and starting over." I couldn't focus on my goal. My children were all I could think of. But yet, I had this fear of going back to Michigan and failing. I ended up going back to Colorado (where the house was still on the market), going to school, and working part time at amazon. 

 February 2023 The house sold. At this time, I intuitively knew where I needed to go, and it wasn't Hawaii! No, it was back to Michigan...cold country. I loaded up my car and drove across country. I found a place renting a basement space for $400/month and got settled in. School work...lots, and lots of school work. 

The topic is on Mastery. As I was reading, in chapter 6 it goes into "Practice". You practice in order to learn a skill, in order to improve yourself, in order to get ahead,in order to achieve goals, and make money. It's not something you do, its something you have and are. Mastery is staying on the path, and surrendering to your teacher and the demands of your disciple. 

Ok...this hit deep. 

Then I read "It is to cultivate the mind and heart of the beginning at every stage along the way. For the master, surrender means there are no experts. There are only learners. I find myself a student of this book. I want to master "my life" and get it in order. I desire a strong relationship with my children, but also want to master a skill that will help others. I keep bouncing back and forth between photography, and real-estate. I did photography for 11 years, and practiced it. I can say I did master aspects of it, but there is more to learn. Real-estate (on the other hand), would be a new carreer path, one I have a passion for because I want to help people find their "place" and guide them through the process. I am at a roadblock...another decision. I don't want to dabble in small, meaningless things anymore, I want to choose a path and master it. Mastery is staying on the path. If you stay on it long enough, you will find it to be a vivid place, with it's ups and downs, it's challenges and comforts, it's surprises, disappoitements, and unconditional joys. This is what I truly want. It takes practice.